The Fanfic Hack Song

 

by atimnie, Derek, Decelaraptor, and Between_the_Lines

 

 

This is an old one that appeared in several parts in posts on one of the PPMB’s infamous “Scenes That Should Never Be” threads during Summer 2005.  Thanks to atimnie, Decelaraptor, and Between_the_Lines for contributing parts of this.

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Poster:

I always wanted to be: A FANFIC HACK!  Posting on board after board throughout Daria fandom!  The PPMB!  The Sh33p’s Fluff!  Abruptly Amy!  The Look-Alike Series!  The DF Continuum!  Outpost Daria!  Falling Into College!  The Longest Year!  A Pause In The Air!  Scenes That Should Not Be!  With The Angst Guy by my side, we’d sing, sing, SING!

 

Poster:

I'm a fanfic hack and I'm okay,

I write all night and I post all day.

 

Chorus:

He's a fanfic hack and he's okay,

he writes all night and he posts all day.

 

Poster:

I write fanfic, I post it here,

I go to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays I go surfing

and read weird fanfic during tea.

 

Chorus:

He writes fanfic, he posts it here,

he goes to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays he goes surfing

and reads weird fanfic during tea.

 

All:

I'm/He's a fanfic hack and I'm/he's okay,

I/he write/writes all night and I/he post/posts all day.

 

Poster:

I writes serial fics all filled with angst,

Send D&J to the stars!

On Wednesdays I wears me tuxedo,

And picks penguins up in bars!

 

Chorus:

He writes serial fics all filled with angst,

Send D&J to the stars!

On Wednesdays he wears his tuxedo,

And picks penguins up in bars!?!

 

All:

I'm/He's a fanfic hack and I'm/he's okay,

I/he write/writes all night and I/he post/posts all day.

 

Poster:

I write my fics, with scenes so bad,

that they'll have you moanin'.

I put in lurid sex scenes,

just like our dear Ronin.

 

Chorus:

He writes his fics, with scenes so bad,

that they'll have you moanin'.

He puts in lurid sex scenes...

just like our dear Ronin? Eeeeewwwww!

 

[long pause, during which we can hear the poster walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.  After the door closes:]

 

Chorus:

He's a fanfic hack and he's okay,

he writes all night and he posts all day.

He’s a fanfic hack and he’s okaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy......

hewritesallnightandhepostsallday.